I think you're starting to grow up when you don't hate Mondays as much as you used to. Don't get me wrong, I still get a strong case of the Sunday sads, but my perspective on the whole thing is changing - it's Monday! A new week! A fresh start! Wow, I ate a lot of pizza this weekend! 

We had planned to get our veggie gardens in on Saturday but I guess we're too early because our usual place only had some herbs and lots of flowers. I managed to get rosemary, oregano and some onions in. Everything else is going to have to wait until after Mother's Day. Also, I feel like I'm sort of self-sabotaging here because if I manage to get pregnant over the summer, the issue of whether you can garden or not seems to be up in the air. All of our soil/yards are organic and not treated with anything so if it comes down to it, you'll find me out back in a hazmat suit because mama needs her pickled banana peppers this year! 

Since we found ourselves veggie-less, we worked on some landscaping instead. Ben's mom supplied us with a ton of plants from her garden, so I finally got started on some curb appeal out front. This little patch is a pain to mow so I'm told, so I started by ripping up the dead thing that lived there and lined it with hostas and this little silver bush (technical term). 

I want to make this whole front patch a little cottage-y garden with a bird bath in the center. 

Inspiration below...it's gonna take a while to get there ;)

We also planted some fern-y type things on the side of the yard in hopes that it will spread all the way down the bank and B won't have to mow that anymore either. Because there might have been an incident last spring where we got the zero turn stuck and I saw my future with a legless husband bright and clear in front of me. 

Other than that we enjoyed a bonfire with friends on Saturday night, a bridal shower and golf respectively on Sunday and then a family dinner later that night. Huzzah to being old and lazy! 

I am a planner by nature so diving into something as huge as bringing a life into this world took a lot of thought...like six years worth. With that being said, I knew from the moment I started dating Ben that I wanted to have a family with him someday.  He is the quintessential family man and I couldn't be luckier to have such an honest, hardworking husband who is just as passionate about family life as I am.

Since family is always at the forefront of our minds, we talk a lot about parental roles, family dynamics and how we want to raise our children. Our childhoods were pretty different, but both of our moms were able to stay home with us (for at least some portion of my childhood in my case) and we want this for our own children as well. Honestly, this was one of the biggest road blocks for us and one of the reasons why we didn't start sooner - how do we make this happen in today's day and age? I know people do it but it seems like no one talks about it. I was talking to my friend last night, who is one of the first in our group to have a baby, and she looked me dead in the eye and said,"You just do it. You find a way, and you make it happen". Whether that means working part time here and there, relying on family a few days a week, whatever - you figure it out because you have to. You have this little life relying on you.

This role, and this huge responsibility, it's something that honest to God keeps me up at night. I worry for this little baby, who at this point is just a hope in our minds. I don't think about the midnight feedings and the crying and the messy house - I can deal with all of that. I think about this little person having the two best parents he/she can possibly have and how we have this HUGE responsibility of helping shape this person's view of the world and how come hell or high water, I want to be there as much as possible in those first few years to be a constant source of comfort and calm.

I woke up this morning with my wise friend's words rumbling around in my brain and I thought about my two newly pregnant girlfriends. How are they feeling? I immediately text the one and she made me laugh by saying, "I feel like you just need to accept the process. None of us are going to go homeless or hungry." Her words put things in perspective and it feel like a brick hit me on the head when I realized what I had been missing all this time. Why I have so much stress and worry and no matter how much planning and budgeting I do, nothing seems to quell my anxiety about the unknown. Because I wasn't asking the right person  or the right questions.

 

I am a firm believer in  the combination of prayer and personal actions. I'm not saying we're going to pop out four kids and say "well, God will handle it", but that anxiety in my heart will never be resolved from saving up three years' worth of pay or baby-proofing our whole house. My fear of rocking the boat and the unknown though? He will get me through it. I feel like the second I opened up my heart, the floodgates (and tears, lets be honest) opened and I finally felt like I can accept the process. Life is messy and hard and unpredictable, but I know for our family, with the help of God we can get through anything.

Some highlights from this long (looooong) week . . .

a husband who gets up to take the puppy out and picks fresh flowers for you while he's at it

This book, and pregnant friends who are your constant sounding board. I love you!  

Sunny afternoon walks with this nut.

Even if she poops out on me way too early. 

grass! boat shoes! all things spring, really. 

We have a low key weekend planned and I couldn't be happier about it. Tonight we're ordering in from our favorite Mediterranean place, getting up early tomorrow to plant our veggie gardens, attending a birthday party Saturday night and then I have a bridal shower on Sunday.  

Happy weekend to you! 

A few pictures from our relaxing weekend down at the beach! It was a short trip, but so worth it.

Just popping in to say HAPPY FRIDAY! Was this the longest week ever or what? Whenever Ben is traveling time crawls by for me. But he's home this afternoon and when I get home from work we're leaving directly for the shore for a relaxing weekend just the three of us, Ivy included ;)

When we planned our weekend getaway a few weeks back I didn't know he'd be across the country right beforehand and when I brought up that it'd be a lot of travel for him, he said the sweetest thing about wanting to have me to himself after being away all week so the shore getaway was actually perfect timing. Gah, he is just the best.

Anyways! It's supposed to be 70 degrees tomorrow so I'm hoping that means little miss Ivy gets to discover the ocean for the first time. She LOVES any body of water (besides baths) so I think she'll have a lot of fun romping around in the surf. I think we're still a bit away from getting her on the boat, but when that times comes you better believe this is happening.

Hope you all have a fabulous weekend with warm temps!

This past weekend we had my family over for both a belated Easter celebration and my mama's birthday.  While we were prepping the food on Sunday morning, I realized that I didn't make myself a vegetarian option (salad and sides wasn't going to cut it!). We quickly brainstormed and came up with these awesome veggie wraps that Ben helped me put together.

Ingredients (for 8 halves):

• 4 whole wheat tortillas
• 4 Tbsp hummus
• a few handfuls of spinach
• a few handfuls of shredded carrots
• 1 avocado, diced
• 1 jar of roasted red peppers
• 1 jar of oil packed sun-dried tomatoes, cut into thin strips

Directions:

Spread one tablespoon of hummus over each tortilla. Layer on the spinach, carrots, peppers, avocado and tomatoes. Wrap it up, cut it in half on a diagonal and ENJOY! These are a bit messy but stay together with the help of some carefully placed toothpicks.

After dinner, my nieces were practically barreling down the door to search for eggs. Ben and I had hid 15 eggs around the backyard earlier that day and then my grandmother brought an additional 15, all of which were filled with change. I don't know if it's just our family that does this but the big kids love adding it to their piggy banks and little ones love shaking them like maracas. And the parents enjoy no sugar highs I'm sure!

Although our house is small, I hope we're able to host plenty more holidays and get-togethers here as our family grows over the years. It's strange finally being the person in charge of such things and I always hope I'm doing a good enough job and making it feel like nothing has changed for everyone.

I know personally, I struggle a lot with watching my family members grow older.  Grown ups always seem invincible to you when you're little. Time stands still with them at a certain age until one day, when you've finished schooling, maybe married and with a place of your own, it's suddenly not that way anymore. You think, where did the time go? How did I miss them going from 60 to 80?

But maybe that's how everyone feels: children, parents, and grandparents alike.  We're all pushing to get to the next best thing when right now is actually that moment. I hope this space can accurately reflect this time in our lives. While we're both so ready and excited for this next big step, right now is pretty perfect too.

After much deliberation and talking (and talking and talking and talking) we have officially decided to start trying! I am so nervous and so excited and my brain pretty much can't focus on anything else these days. If I'm not asking my mom friends endless baby questions, I'm researching way too far into the internet for my own good. I've always been really nervous about the whole process, but in the same breath, I think I'll really enjoy being pregnant and of course, being a mom. I hope I don't eat my words in a few months on the pregnancy part when I'm barfing my brains out ;)

Right now, I am so absorbed with what my days will look like staying home with a baby. Just today I went home for lunch and stood in the would be nursery (which is currently Ivy's room). I pictured where the crib would go, and the rocking chair, and stacks of books and toys scattered around the room during play time. I thought about waking up throughout the night and how we will spend our days together.

Lots of my mom friends tell me the first few months are "survival mode" in that it's eat, sleep, repeat. This makes me think about our routine now and how easy I know we have it. It's crazy to think how vastly different everything could look a year from now. With that being said, I want to remember everything about this time in our lives. From the little moments together and fun adventures we're squeezing in before baby, to trying to conceive and my actual pregnancy. I can't believe we're starting this crazy ride!