Going Rogue

Monday, July 13, 2015

Where to start? It's July 13th, we're in our third month of trying and Hell, if it isn't emotionally draining. July 4th marked a meltdown of sorts. My pregnant sister-in-law, best friend and confidant consoling me as I threw the pregnancy tests back into my bag and reached for a tampon. This was going to be the month! We could have told everyone while we were all together!  I tend to do this - build things up in my head. She, like everyone else, doesn't know what to say and knows even better to not say the cliche things. Since then, I've regrouped, as I've done every month since we started, telling myself to relax and enjoy the process.

This month feels really good so far. I made a pact with myself to abstain from coffee and alcohol until my birthday (possibly indefinitely...?) and it's been helping with my sleep and mood tremendously. It's also been forcing me to deal with my emotions a lot more and not just rush through the days and weeks. I've been finding myself feeling grateful for little things every day and I've had a lot more energy. I guess I didn't realize how much I was relying on coffee to wake me up and get me through the day and then a drink to help me unwind after. It feels good to just flow through the days naturally and did I mention -- sleep has been amazing? A big thing that spurred this decision was knowing that when I do get pregnant I'm going to have to completely cut out alcohol and limit caffeine. Being an all or nothing person, I'd rather not be suffering from caffeine withdrawal when I'm trying to enjoy the news of being pregnant and I also feel like getting used to booze free socializing earlier on will help too. 

This week we don't have a ton going on. Ben was off work at a golf tournament with his brother and dad today so he got to get some things done around the house this morning, including prepping dinner, so I'm looking forward to getting some household stuff done around the house tonight. I've been playing around with the idea of turning our spare room into a makeshift art/craft room for myself. Nothing permanent like bookshelves and painting, but just a space I can hang out in on the weekends when I get the DIY bug. 

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