We hit another pregnancy milestone right on a holiday again this week - 25 weeks on New Year's Day! Since we traditionally spend the day at home taking down holiday decorations, cleaning and making our annual seafood bisque, I thought I'd get this up a day early. 

A few weeks ago when my emotions started getting the better of me we decided to keep a mental list of all the silly stuff I was getting teary-eyed over. Even in the heat of the moment I can recognize it's crazy, but it's hard to control and it's always funny to look back on and laugh about. Ben's list (so far) had me cracking up:  

• Any pet commercials
• Old guy car commercial (he's referring to this one)
• too many pickles in the fridge
• not knowing what to eat
• every gift you open, especially baby gifts
• feeling the baby
• not feeling the baby
• me not sitting on the couch with you*
• me sitting on the couch with you*
• Ivy**

*I want to cuddle but then I'm hot but then why aren't you sitting with me?? Haha it's musical chairs every night. 

**She has been such a cuddle bug lately and she definitely "knows" which makes it even harder on me. I cannot smother her enough with kisses and love. I cry at least once a week letting her know she'll always be my first baby and stressing over whether she is feeling loved enough. Ridiculous, I know but I can't help it. Look at that face.

One of the most tear-inducing Christmas presents we got was this handmade sign from my brother and SIL for the baby's nursery! I can't wait to hang it over the changing table this weekend.

Some belly pics from this week....

work bathroom lighting is the best lighting!

Ben snapped this one this morning since he's working from home today and I want to try and get one of all of us tonight as well. I really want to try and take more family pictures in 2016 which I don't think will be too hard with a new, cute addition :)  

Happy New Year!

Merry (belated) Christmas! This year felt pretty relaxed compared to years' past, mostly due to the fact that we had four (!) days off together which we spent spreading out visits with family, spending downtime at home, and seeing some out of town friends. It went way too fast as it always does, but we've got another short one this week which I plan to fully embrace by starting some new books and working on a few photo craft projects.

Christmas Eve started out nice and slow with some much needed pre-natal yoga in the morning, puzzling and putting away Christmas gifts from his dad's gift exchange which we did the previous weekend. Late afternoon we headed to his mom's for our annual Christmas Eve cousin get together. It wasn't the same without Josh and Jen there but they were snuggled up at home with a newborn so you can't blame them too much ;) Next year! Babies!

Nana's annual Christmas brunch was taken over this year by another family member on a separate day, so we were able to sleep in, exchange gifts and just hang at home eating cinnamon buns until we headed out for the day. Although it's hard watching traditions change, as families grow it's a blessing to be able to start our own traditions. We really spoiled Ivy this year and she surprised both of us by actually ripping apart her wrapped gifts. Needless to say, both cheapie toys are already demolished but she was also interested in her new harness, trying to put her head through it because she knows it means the park or a walk is coming. This harness is sturdier and will allow more control which will come in handy when I'm also trying to navigate a stroller. She doesn't pull too much but you can never be too prepared.

We kept our gifts to each other pretty light and practical this year but we both ended up getting each other 1-2 baby-related gifts and it started the water works per usual on my end. This little one is already so loved! 

Christmas Day also marked marked 24 weeks of pregnancy. I didn't think about it too much besides taking a quick wet-haired snap in the morning  but it sunk in more and more that we have just over three months left as we saw family and repeated our April due date. 

At 6 months:

• I'm excited for my January checkup next week. I feel like I say this every time but the month long wait between appointments in excruciating, while the pregnancy overall seems to fly. Everyone keeps telling me that it might seem like it's going fast now but near the end it will drag. I'm looking forward to spending the last bit of my pregnancy at home preparing for baby. Part of me thinks I'm nuts and will go stir crazy but I also think it will be good to adjust to my new schedule and catch up with friends who are already home and get some practice in on their babies ;)
• Finalizing my freezer meal plan. Since the baby will be born right when the weather is starting to turn warm, I am not doing anything too heavy (which unfortunately freezer meals seem to be based around) so I've had to get a little creative with healthier options. The plan is to start making them at the end of February/early March so they'll be ready in time but will still last us without getting freezer burnt. 
• I'm still feeling really good overall. I've had some rib pain that I want to ask the doctor about but my SIL is passing along her pregnancy pillow to me which I think will help immensely. I've also been incorporating more yoga and walking into my routine which helps both my body and mind relax a bit.  

Happy short week!

I'm in my 23rd week and it's crazy to think I'll be done my sixth month on Christmas Day. When I got pregnant over the summer I remember counting forward and thinking that 24 weeks was so far along. Now that I'm here and just starting to really feel pregnant, I totally get it now when women told me that pregnancy is loooong. With that being said, I really have been super lucky with an easy pregnancy. And my belly definitely pops more and more every day which I'm happy for so I look a little more pregnant and a little less beer gut ;) 

I've slowly been buying some maternity tops to tide me over but it's been super warm the last few weeks so I've held off on getting any cute sweaters or cardigans and I've pretty much been wearing the same 3-4 shirts over and over to work and stealing husband's sweatshirts on the weekends for bumming at home. Speaking of Ben, he finally felt AND saw the baby move last week which was amazing! We talk to it every day (he sings mostly ;)) and the little one continues to swim around and kick, regularly reassuring me that he/she is doing just fine.  

B finished up hanging the closet doors in the nursery and we got the changing table back in there too so are officially DONE until my shower in March. I'll probably be on the lookout for a rug and some art but other than that, it feels good to be finished with such a big part of baby prep so we can sit back and enjoy a relaxing winter together....when winter decides to get here. Where the heck is the snow?? I wanted a hibernation pregnancy but I'm thinking that's not going to happen until January/February!

I've been going through phases with reading the pregnancy/baby books and since right now nothing too exciting is happening, I decided to take some books out on meditation and breathing exercises for when I go into labor. The books are pretty dated but I like the overall concept and we're still debating if we want to dive headfirst into classes or not. I figure I still have time since you typically don't start them until the third trimester. 

We’re looking forward to seeing some out of town friends this weekend and then we have two short work weeks before diving into the New Year! This is the first year that I don’t have any set goals or resolutions aside from our garden and getting back into running post-baby. It's such a stark contrast from years’ past, but it feels really nice to be so relaxed over the whole thing and solely focused on finishing up my pregnancy and having our baby before diving into anything else. Time is flying and he/she will be here before we know it!

We had the perfect laid back Sunday yesterday complete with my favorite Christmas tradition -- cutting down our tree! We took Ivy for the first time this year and it had us laughing the whole time envisioning what next year will look like when I've got an 8 month old strapped to me, trying to keep Ivy on track all while B is trying to navigate the cart around the crowds. It's all part of the fun though and I love seeing all the families out in full force looking for their perfect tree.

At 21 weeks:

• Baby is weighing in at 14 oz and it's hard for me to believe there's almost a lb of baby in there! Although, usually by the end of the day my bladder and back definitely believe it ;)
• Yesterday at our scan, the technician said he/she is right on track growth-wise and it was really reassuring to see the linear chart with our baby's line smack dab in the middle.  We also got to see all the organs, chambers of the heart, parts of the brain and my favorite part -- watching the baby's sucking motion and cuddling it's arm up to it's head. A champion of sleep already, just like mom!
• Speaking of sleep, I'm officially off my back and belly and onto side sleeping which results in me building a pillow fort around myself every night. It's weird  how your body just tells you that it's uncomfortable and unsafe, something I questioned from the beginning with a "but how do you know?" but, like all other things pregnancy-related, it just comes naturally.
• Making it past our midway ultrasound solidified in me that we can make it to the end without finding out the sex. I had a week or two of weakness leading up to this appointment but seeing the baby all over again made me realize I truly want to wait and be surprised. I can't wait to hold him/her in my arms for the first time!
• We are starting to research different birth classes to start in the third trimester and I've also been reading and writing a lot lately. I've been loving this devotional I bought and it's a nice way to decompress at the end of the day and spend time just thinking about our family and praying for the baby. 

This weekend we are cutting down our Christmas tree and hopefully knocking out some shopping too. I've been procrastinating this year but getting the tree set up will definitely help light a fire under me because I know I'll be itching to get all the gifts wrapped and under the tree. Happy almost weekend!

Some before pictures . . .

We had a lot of room prep/construction type things that felt like they took forever in the nursery but we're past the bulk of it now which means we can get started on the fun part - actually decorating! We really wanted to knock out as much as possible before the holidays so we could just relax and, barring the closet doors (which will hopefully be put in this week), we're officially done for a while!

After about 15 different paint samples, we decided to paint the nursery the same neutral gray we have in the main living area of our house because we love it so much (Benjamin Moore Abalone) and then add one dark accent wall (Behr Dark Ash) which we're going to do some sort of mural on. I initially was going to do a beige/cream in there but it just sucked the brightness out of the room and made it feel really dingy. I definitely tend to lean towards more cool and clean tones.

The grays pick up whatever color the decor in the room is, so while I was initially nervous the walls would look too "masculine" I love how they're reflecting the teal accent we decided on. I figure if it's a girl I'll get more than enough pink stuff to balance it out too ;)

The changing table is finished and living in our office until the closet doors are in and the floors are cleaned up. Instead of a traditional rug, which didn't feel warm or thick enough for a baby to me, I decided to get a plush carpet remnant bound from a local place. Ben's step-mom had that done in her living room and it's so, so soft without covering up all the beautiful hardwood. 

Ivy knows something is going on, but she's definitely not 100% aware yet. I've been folding baby clothes on the floor with her nearby, letting her sniff everything, and giving her extra cuddles every night (read: smothering her, crying and telling her she'll always be my first baby while B looks on and laughs). 

I know it will be a huge learning curve, but I keep reminding myself that it's a new schedule for everyone in the house and it's such a huge blessing that I'll be home with no real timeline to manage it all and make sure everyone gets the attention they need. It sounds so over the top but I'm thankful for the two years we had to really train her and get her on a schedule because she's really mellowed out and I think she is going to be great with the baby. And I know I'll feel even safer having her there with us at home, not that she's much of a guard dog, but that bark is pretty intimidating ;) 

That's probably it for nursery updates until my shower this spring but we have our big halfway appointment tomorrow so, like I said yesterday (posting twice in one week?!), pictures to come!

Like most first timers, going into pregnancy I had no idea what to expect. Being a naturally high-strung person, throwing pregnancy into the mix (which is known for it's huge hormonal changes) had me feeling extra apprehensive. Now that we're at the halfway point, I'm happy to report I am as mellow as can be. It's weird. And a huge relief. And also, sort of amazing. Sure, I still have my moments (mostly related to thinking about life after the baby is here), but overall pregnancy has fit me like a glove -- something I hands down did not expect.

I know every pregnancy is different, both among women and between each of your pregnancies, but this unexpected happy and easy pregnancy has me wishing for time to slow down. How are we at 20 weeks already? Everyone keeps telling me "just wait" and of course, near the end when you're huge and over it, I'm sure that's true, but right now I feel like we're in the sweet spot.

At 20 weeks:

• Baby is kicking up a storm and I've even seen movement from the outside once. B has yet to feel or see the baby but I've been praying for that to change soon. Most nights we're all hands on belly in hopes the little one will perk up for dad. He talks to it every night when he gets home from work which makes my heart explode with happiness. He is going to be the best dad!  
• I've had a few more predictions that we're having a girl mostly from friends, but also including the lady at the nail salon who immediately pointed to my 37 week pregnant SIL and said "you're have a boy, yes?" (yes!) and proceeded to me and said "you're having a girl". Well, then! We'll see, oh oracle of infants.
• I've concluded that this is the craving-less pregnancy. With that being said, when I'm hungry, I'm hungry NOW. We stopped to grab snacks on the way down to the shore this past weekend and since I wasn't super hungry, I grabbed a greek yogurt and a kind bar. Ben practically forced his breakfast sandwich on me which was sort of weird until we hit the halfway point and I was hungry again (and where I ate my own snacks). Good call, Dad ;) 
• Some days I feel like I look super pregnant and other days it feels like my belly practically deflated overnight. I think it all depends on where the little one is laying and how active it is. With that being said, my shirt selection is getting slimmer by the day and it's definitely time to start buying some maternity tops and sweaters to tide me over this winter. 

We have our halfway scan this Thursday and I cannot wait! This is the last time we'll see the baby for a while so I want to completely absorb the appointment and take in everything. Pictures to come! 

This past Saturday we had our annual Turducken Day and although I was resistant to hosting at first, I'm glad we decided to do it for at least one more year. It felt really special having everyone over since we're all going through so many monumental life changes. It really forces us all to slow down, catch up on life and just enjoy a delicious dinner together before the craziness of the holidays sets in.

This was definitely the year of the baby with so many expectant bellies and little ones being passed around and tottling around. All of this to say, I got one whole picture out of the day but it's such a sweet picture for me - my sister and I, her nearing the end of her pregnancy and me just reaching the halfway point in mine. It's been such a blessing sharing pregnancies with friends and she in particular has been my rock throughout it all. We can't wait to meet our nephew! Having cousins so close in age is going to be wonderful and not to mention - having another mom at home to hang out with :)

And speaking of pregnancy, I'm in my 19th week! The main changes I've had the last two weeks are that I've been feeling lots of movement and I've also been getting more emotional thinking about the baby and the amazing impact he/she will have on our life together. Embarrassing story time: On Sunday I was happily working on the changing table and listening to Christmas music when Mariah Carey's "All I want for Christmas (is you baby)" came on. What started as me dancing around and being silly resulted in me crying thinking about how all I really DID want this year was a baby and how lucky we are to have been given that gift. I think I thoroughly confused Ben with my whiplash of emotions haha I am turning into such a sap!

I can't believe we're already halfway through November but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited for Thanksgiving to get here already. I'm in full blown Christmas elf mode this year, but I promised Ben I wouldn't start decorating until T-day is over but that might mean black Friday since we both have off ;) Happy holidays!

Just a quick update to say this morning's belly check went great! I saw a new-to-me doctor who is actually the president of medical staff at the hospital I'm delivering at and although he was definitely more brisk than what I had gotten used to, I appreciated his no nonsense approach. I also think I'll appreciate that sort of attitude when it comes time to PUSH ;)

Baby's tests for DS and Trisomy18 came back in the normal range and the next appointment we have is our 20 week scan! That's not for another month so I plan to just sit back and enjoy the honeymoon stage. I actually ordered a pregnancy devotional today which will hopefully act as a pregnancy journal as well as a way for me to absorb and cherish each day moving forward. Pregnancy definitely feels like one big waiting game but I'm told by everyone to just enjoy where I'm at because baby will be here before we know it.

Some other updates:

• I've started feeling what I think are little movements which has been amazing. I can't wait for them to get more consistent and then for Ben to feel them too! 

• We got lighting installed in the nursery and are looking at paint colors over the next couple weeks which I can't wait to cross off my list. I know we have "so much time" but a lot of that is going to be eaten up by the holidays so I'd love to get everything in order as soon as possible so we can just sit back and relax. I had initially wanted to go with a cream or beige paint color for in there but now I'm leaning towards a lighter, cool tone color like this now:

As for the lights, the A/C vent is smack dab in the middle of the ceiling so a pendant definitely wouldn't have worked. 

We went with four small, recessed lights in a perfect square around the room and the best part is they dim down super low and create a warm glow late at night.

Other than that we wrapped up the bulk of our registries last weekend and are in full-blown Turducken Day mode. I'm so happy we're hosting again this year and it will be wonderful to have all of our friends under one roof, especially with so many of us expanding our families at the same time. Happy November!

Hello and happy hump day!  I'm trying hard not to miss any weekly updates but the days are flying by and if I'm not careful, I'm through a whole week without even thinking about it. Which brings us to today. So far, week 16 is going great! Baby has the appetite of a linebacker and I'm officially back on the veggie and spice train (the two things I hated in the first trimester). I haven't been able to eat things as spicy as I used to, but I'll take anything over the bland carbs I seemed to live on for weeks in the beginning.

My only aversions right now are onions (we had an unfortunate incident with french onion soup at 6 weeks) and oatmeal doesn't seem to be sitting well with me. I'm also having a hard time looking at meat. It almost feels like right after I gave it up last year and it physically makes me nauseous to look at it. It's not all the time and when I crave it, I'll eat it, but I've ordered some organic hemp protein to to help supplement my intake. It's a touchy subject for me because ethically I know what I want to do and what I plan to do after baby (and how I'd like to feed my family) but I also know I need to listen to my body. Right now, I'm cutting back on the amount I'm buying and eating it as my body "tells" me to, which isn't very often.

On the opposite end of the spectrum...cravings! The thing everyone asks about and is subsequently disappointed to hear about hah! My only consistent craving has been seltzer water. Other than that, if something sounds good, I want it in the moment, but it usually passes pretty quickly. I keep joking that working full time has kept me from giving into every whim and getting obese ;)

Baby will be the size of a pear and can now hear our voices. I make sure to talk to him/her a lot and even torture it with my singing from time to time which I'm sure it loves ;) My belly seems to be rounding out from it's previous "pointy" state and I should be able to start feeling movement in the next few weeks which I can't wait for!

Yep, wearing the same outfit as last time...limited choices ;) 

In other news, our computer is FINALLY fixed so we don't have to rely on our phones or B's work laptop at home anymore. I'm hoping this inspires me to get my butt into gear and get some recipes on here since I've been cooking up a storm.

We've been home for a few days but I'm just getting around to catching up on here. I have so many pictures that I need to sort through but I feel like I'm still decompressing from our trip. For someone who doesn't really like to fly, having to board three times in a week had me feeling like an old pro by the end of it, not to mention having to do it stone cold sober. Pregnancy: the time for conquering fears head on ;) With that being said, I don't foresee myself doing any more air travel throughout the rest of this pregnancy. I have to give it up my SIL who is 30 weeks and flew down for the wedding! 

Ben flew out again yesterday, this time for business, and won't be back until Sunday so I'm going solo this week. I miss him already, but I think it's safe to say the second trimester energy has kicked in because I woke up this morning with my brain on fire with to do lists. I never get the spring cleaning bug, but come Fall, watch out! We haven't touched the nursery so I want to work on moving all my clothes into our bedroom.  We have a friend installing recessed lighting in there soon, which means I need to get my rear in gear and find a rug and pick a paint color. Speaking of, what we're doing with the nursery has to be one of the most asked questions I get after "any cravings?" and "boy or girl"? (nope and not finding out!).  I honestly am still at a loss as to what I want to do in there. I'm not super into themes or one particular color so I think it will be a process of finding things we love and layering them in there as we go. I just want it to be a peaceful but fun room that can grow with our baby.

As for a pregnancy "update", at 15 weeks I can honestly say I love being pregnant. There's not too much to report on because things are going pretty smoothly but the main thing is that my appetite has seriously surged. Ironically, my bump sort of deflated this week which I heard from my mom friends can be bloat giving way to the REAL bump that's coming soon. I've been sleeping better and like I mentioned, I have a lot more energy. My next appointment is at the beginning of November and then after that we'll have our BIG ultrasound around 20 weeks which I'm so excited for. It's already felt too long since I've seen the nugget and I can't believe I'm a month away from being halfway through this. Time has been flying and I'm truly enjoying this stage of life, so I'm trying to absorb each day.

I'm looking forward to a weekend at home filled with lots of organization and cooking. I'm such a homebody so this actually excites me after being gone :) Also, I'm totally late to the game but I'd still love to carve pumpkins and decorate our front porch, but at this point it might be more of a Thanksgiving theme than a Halloween one. Happy almost weekend!

The first week of my second trimester has been really busy so I haven't had much time to reflect on it much until now. Between all the lists and packing and prepping for our leave (and worrying over whether Ivy is going to eat my mom's cats), we did manage a quick anniversary dinner on Tuesday at our favorite Mediterranean place. It was so nice to just stop and unplug...even if we did spend an absurd amount of time discussing the pros and cons of replacing our A/C vents versus just sealing them up again this winter. Sealing them won, if you're as invested in energy vs cost savings as we are ;)

We leave for TN early Saturday morning and although I'm nervous to leave my first baby behind, I know she's in good hands and I know even more that we need this. A real vacation, out of state, just for us. We get so wrapped up in work, house projects, and other people's lives that it's good to retreat back to Ben and Heather for a bit, especially since we're cooking a new member at an alarmingly fast rate. That family member will be 15 weeks along when we return (!!) and I'd love to do some non-pregnancy related posts, if anything just to flex my dusty, old writing muscles or finally jot down some recipes we've been loving.

Happy October! Now that we're 12 weeks along, I've posted all these back logged pregnancy updates which were really fun for me to read over this morning. I'll be 13 weeks on Saturday and I can't believe the first trimester is over.

Honestly, everything considered my first trimester was pretty easy. I only had about a week of bad nausea, I had no scary spotting or cramps, and mostly I was just exhausted. I'm really grateful we got through it without too much strife and it made it all worth it when we saw the baby's heart pounding away on yesterday's ultrasound. It felt even more real this time and I can't stop looking at his/her profile and tiny limbs and thinking....you're going to be here in just over six months!

Over the last two weeks, I've gotten my energy back which has been amazing. I have a tiny bump developing and my only symptoms these days are increased appetite and some afternoon headaches (which I attribute to not eating enough).

We leave for our Nashville/Dallas trip in 10 days and weirdly enough, I'm not nervous about flying at all. Prior to getting pregnant one of my biggest worries was how my anxiety would react to all the hormonal changes, but I'm happy to report that it's like a switch has gone off and I feel so peaceful and zen (?!??!). Ben said he feels like he's talking to himself half the time because I'm so relaxed about everything haha. Here's hoping this carries through to after the baby is here and praying for a calm baby too!

I know I mentioned veggies and I weren't friends for a while there but I've been cooking up a storm and including lots of plant-based meals in the mix which feels great. Last night I made a pumpkin pasta and it turned out so wonderful that we scarfed the whole thing (picture next time?). Recipe below:

Ingredients:

• 2 cups penne pasta
• 2 T salted butter
• 3 large cloves garlic, minced
• 1/2 cup cream
• 1 1/2 cup chicken broth
• 1 cup pumpkin 
• salt and pepper to taste
• red pepper flakes
• parmesan cheese for garnish

Directions: 

• boil the pasta as directed until just al dente
• in a large saucepan, melt the butter, add the garlic and cook 2 minutes until fragrant
• add the cream, chicken broth, and pumpkin to the pan and whisk until mixed
• season with salt and pepper, add the pasta and cover for 20 minutes on low heat. (the pasta should absorb the extra sauce). 
• serve with red pepper flakes and a generous sprinkling of parmesan!

This weekend looks to be pretty low key due to the bad weather rolling in, but we have some house projects planned so I'm excited to use all the energy I have back to get organizing. I finally have a vision for the nursery so I'm excited to get the big projects like lighting and closet doors out of the way so I can start on the fun stuff. Happy weekend and happy October!

We're in the 11th week! The homestretch (ha)! The homestretch of the first trimester anyway. It's weird how time can feel really slow and really fast all at once. I guess because in the beginning I was walking on eggshells much more so I compulsively checked the updates every day (hour) and now that we're entering the safe zone I feel much more relaxed and at ease with all the changes that are happening.

Speaking of changes, the bump is finally starting to form! Just this morning I was laying in bed and it actually felt hard compared to the bloat that's been living there since August. Baby will be the size of a lime by the end of this week, fingers and toes are no longer webbed and it's mouth is forming. I have a blood draw for sequential screening next week where I also think (?) I get an ultrasound so I'm hoping to get another picture. If not, we'll see him/her the day before we leave for Nashville in October which will be a nice little send off.

Other fun stuff...

I've been seeing our boy name pop up EVERYWHERE (street signs/town names, random people/TV...) so I'm taking it as a sign. We've had both our boy and girl names picked out for years and even though it's fun thinking about other names, these two feel very "us" and for me, these little people already exist in my mind. Also, besides a few dreams here and there, I have no inkling of the sex of the baby yet.

Cravings: I'm still drinking seltzer water almost daily just because it's so refreshing and a nice change up from regular water. Outside of that, I want all things warm and comforting like stews and hot drinks (--> vanilla chai tea is my downfall!). I've gotten heartburn easier the last two weeks so I'm avoiding onions and anything fried at the moment.

I bit the bullet and ordered some maternity pants already. The hair tie trick was getting old fast and I figured I'd need them sooner or later, so why not be comfortable now?

September 15, 2015

BABY: I'm a few weeks late on updates, but we had our first appointment so there's lots to catch up on! The Dr. adjusted our due date to April 15th so it pushed me a back a few days from what I originally thought.  I was a little bummed because I am so ready to be done with the first trimester, but the baby is measuring right on track and we got to see the heartbeat so that's all that matters. I go back again for the DS blood draw and 12 week ultrasound at the end of September and then again the day before we leave for Nashville in October, which I'm so excited about it. I know it will put our mind at ease to see the doctor before we travel. Since we saw the heartbeat and everything looked good, the news is out to the rest of our friends and I also told work since I'll be having lots of appointments coming up. It feels good that it's no longer a secret!

MAMA: I'm feeling really good! The nausea has completely subsided and I even got a bit of my energy back in the last week or so.  Of course I say that and I am dragging today, but symptoms seem to come and go and the good days are outweighing the sleepy ones. I'm really looking forward to being in the second trimester for both the supposed kick of energy and the reassurance and "safety net" of being past 12 weeks. I'm also excited to get a little bump because right now I just feel super bloated. I still haven't had any big cravings and I've been getting full really fast, which I'm told is due to the influx of hormones that are slowing down my rate of digestion. It's probably a good thing because it was carb city there for a while in the beginning ;) Other than that it is FALL and I am one happy lady. The cool nights are helping me sleep better and I'm loving all the weekend activities with friends. Goodbye, hermit crab days!

September 2nd, 2015

Symptoms: The nausea isn't as bad this week which I attribute to learning to manage it better. It definitely comes in waves at certain times of the day so I know that's when I need to get something in my stomach or start sucking on my preggo pops.

Mama: I have a lot more energy these days, I've been sleeping like a rock thanks to my new chiro pillow, and I've been plowing through books. In general, I'm just feeling really relaxed right now which is quite the comparison to how I normally am...guess motherhood has chilled me out!

Craving: not a whole lot, but I have been wanting meat which is sort of an uphill battle for me. I tell myself that there's a reason my body is craving it and it's about the baby right now and not about my ethical choices. I hope once my stomach settles in the 2nd trimester I'll be able to come back to a mostly plant-based diet, not only for myself but because VEGGIES - I haven't seen them in like a month. Can someone come cook for us? :)

Baby: is our little jelly bean! I've been feeling some pulling and stretching in my lower abdomen which means things are growing and expanding down there. We've both been reading out updates in apps and books and it's crazy how much changes in a week.

Right now:  We're looking forward to a low key holiday weekend at home catching up with friends. Our appointment is in 9 days and then if everything checks out, the news will be spread to everyone else who doesn't know. Once everything checks out, I feel like I'll be able to breathe and it will be so nice to have all of our friends know and be able to talk freely. I'm still not 100% sure when I plan to tell work. I planned on 12 weeks but I probably won't be able to hold it in after that first appointment.

7 weeks, 2 days
Monday August 24th, 2015

I've been avoiding it for as long as possible but my neck and upper back are killing me so I finally bit the bullet today and went to the chiropractor. I've gotten multiple recommendations for this particular doctor, and after hearing that she's extra gentle and actually worked on my boss during her whole pregnancy, I decided to make the appointment .

Fast forward to just three hours after I called and I was walking into the doctor's office. Dr. S was so sweet and actually made me cry on my first visit (hormones). I told her I wouldn't normally consider going to the doctor for something so minor, because normally I'd pop double the amount of Ibuprofen and suck it up, but since those options are off the table (and I'm too paranoid to take anything), off to the doctor I went. Near the end of the meet and greet but before we got down to business, she asked me if I had any questions. This is when the water works started and I thanked her for listening to me and taking my concerns about my baby seriously. To have someone validate that - yes, this is scary and all you want to do is protect that new baby of yours, but GOOD LORD you also feel like crap and it's okay to take care of yourself too, really meant something to me.

It's such a gentle balance right now - remembering to take care of yourself and cut yourself a break but also having this giant responsibility thrust upon you too. I guess if I had any advice for moms on the first trimester island (because, yes - it's an island and it's damn isolating sometimes). it's: don't be too hard on yourself. Eat the terrible-for-you cereal if it's the only thing that will settle your stomach. Cry if it makes you feel better. Put yourself first for once. And remember, it will pass.

August 20th, 2015

The weird dreams have started.

Also, I slept on my neck weird. I'm petitioning for one of these. That is all.

Monday August 18th, 2015

Symptoms: The intermittent nausea has started (yay!). It's nothing some dry cereal can't handle but it's not fun either. It's strange to be so uninterested in food. I don't want to cook it, I'm not craving anything and I certainly don't think about it at all throughout the day.

Mama: is focusing on house projects and get-togethers with friends to distract herself from the fact that the first appointment is still over two weeks away.

Craving:  I should wipe out this question....

Baby: is developing it's lungs this week!

Right now: I'm looking forward to a weekend in NYC for my birthday with Ben. I hope I'm able to keep up my stamina (and down my nausea) to get the most out of the trip. I know B has a lot of fun things planned.

Monday August 17th, 2015

Symptoms: so. freaking. tired. I read that week 6 is a huge week for development which helps explain my extreme fatigue. I hate feeling "useless" but I know I need to rest when my body tells me to and pregnancy naps are sort of the best thing ever.

Mama: may have ordered a rug for baby's room already. Nothing like counting your chickens, right? I can't help it though, I'm so excited! We plan on keeping the sex a surprise so I'm having fun planning a gender-neutral nursery.

Craving:  Sleep! And still really wishing for cooler weather. Really, I just want August to be over so we can get our first appointment in and start telling more friends ;) Still not craving anything food-related.

Baby: is now visible on an ultrasound and it's heart is beating away as it develops. Keep on trucking little buddy! Mama and daddy are so excited to see you in a few weeks!

Right now:  It's starting to feel more real as we tell close family members. I was nervous to do this, but I know having a support system, God forbid anything happens, is really important to me. In other news, I'm pretty sure Ivy knows what's up. She's been extra cuddly lately and weary of strangers which isn't normally like her.

August 11th, 2015

Symptoms: fatigue, sore boobs, bloating/constipation and light cramping every once and a while. The cramping only really happens after I eat a good-sized meal which makes me think it's my digestive track pushing against my expanding uterus.

Mama: is happy to have the symptoms I do so I "feel" pregnant. My first ultrasound isn't until September 11th, when I'll be at the tail end of 9 weeks, so any little thing that ensures me that the nugget is hanging on in there is a good sign in my book. No nausea yet and I'm okay with that. I'm crossing my fingers it stays away.

Craving: does sleep and cooler weather count? I'm not craving anything food-wise.

Baby: is the size of a chocolate chip, has been nicknamed peanut by it's father and has been prayed for endlessly by it's mama.

Right now:  the only people that know are my mom and our best friends, Josh and Jen. I'm excited to tell his parents this weekend and then our friends after our first appointment, I don't want to wish time away at all but I'm anxious to share our happy news with everyone.

Ben left for a week-long business trip on Monday, August 3rd. This is also the morning I decided, against my better judgement, to take a pregnancy test. I say against my better judgement because A- it was obviously going to say negative because my period wasn't supposed to come until the following weekend. And B- if it is positive what the Hell am I going to do with this news while my husband is 20,000 feet in the air headed to the west coast? I had symptoms all weekend so I bit the bullet, peed on the stick and skittered out of the bathroom to make myself tea. Walking back in, ready to just feel sad and get on with getting ready for work, I glimpsed at the stick and there it was: two lines.

As anyone who's been TTC for a while knows, it's an emotional roller coaster filled with hope and anticipation which is then followed by disappointment and sadness when it doesn't happen that month. So when I saw that faint line I felt like I was in a dream. I immediately called my SIL and started bawling before squeaking out that I was finally pregnant. She has been my number one confidant throughout this whole process and the person who kept me sane and stayed my biggest cheerleader through it all. It's only natural that she'd be one of the first people I'd tell...even ahead of my husband ;)

Ben was due to land back in Philly early Friday afternoon and he thought I would be gone by then to Rehobeth with my girlfriends so I arranged my plans to leave later and surprise him at home (he was also leaving for a bachelor party). You know what they say about the best laid plans...I left at noon to get balloons and set up his surprise and then I waited and waited and waited. Traffic out of Philly was terrible so when he finally rolled in at 4:45 I was a bundle of nerves because I knew we'd both have to leave again shortly after 5 but there was no way I was waiting until Sunday after waiting all day (and week!). I heard him open the door and slowly walk through the living room and when he turned the corner he just broke into a smile and said "are we really?" "holy moly!" haha he's so cute.

Keeping this a secret from him all week was so hard but I'd definitely say it was worth it to see his face in person when I was finally able to tell him.